Is it love? Or just a crush?

It’s happened to me as long as I can remember. I hear a piece of music that (as my friend Brian says) “puts me in orbit.”

Awhile back, Brian shared a favorite mp3 with me. It attacked my heart with a vengeance. It owned me for days. The melody barged its way into my soul and refused to leave.

It’s like being in love, in a way. When I fall in love with a song, I can’t function. I can’t focus on my work. I find myself wanting to take long, hot bubble baths with my mp3 player -- candlelight, incense, the whole bit.

At the very least, I hit “repeat” on my audio device and memorize every note.

Falling in love is a strange event, because love is so blind.

Maybe I just think he’s an amazing man. Maybe I’m just so overwhelmed by fantasy and desire, and that aching thing that tugs at me. . .

Oh, wait – I was talking about music, right? Sorry. Got a little off track there.

What I meant to say was, love can be so deaf.

I began to question my love for this song. Is it really as good as I think? Or is this just a crush? Won't the crush eventually wane? Will I wake up to my senses one morning and realize that this song is nothing special? Will I be embarrassed by this silly outpouring of emotion?

I decided to do the practical thing and send the mp3 to my friend, Tom. He knows music. He studies music theory in college. He plays music—for fun and for money. He conducts bands. He gets the “falling in love with a song” thing. I asked Tom to give me his thoughts on this object of my passion.

I admitted that I was in love. (With the music, I mean.)

As expected, Tom wrote back with a compositional critique, but then he also shared these wonderful words of assurance:

“Don't feel bad over having a crush on music. It's just art. You grow, your tastes change. Enjoy it for however long you want. I have CDs in my collection that I bought years ago, listened to like crazy for a while, and now I can't even remember the last time I played them. It might be fun to go dig them out and listen again to see if they've held up.

XOXO

t.”

Ahhh... it's good to have permission to indulge a crush. Tom always gives me plenty of leeway to indulge anything I wish, come to think of it.

I thought about his words, though. Isn’t that the way it is with love? We enjoy it for however long we want, then we leave that love far behind. We grow and our tastes change. We love like crazy for awhile, then wake up one morning realizing we can't even remember the last time we thought of the objects of our long-lost affections. The passions of our hearts. The loves of our lives.

So... is it “fun to go dig them out” again?

That's doubtful. Chances are, they haven’t held up.

XOXO

k.