How to be me

50 Ways, in no particular order...

1. Frequently envision yourself diving into a cool, clear pool of fresh water on a hot summer day.
2. Be anything but casual about music.
3. Appreciate the fact that you don’t look your age.
4. Thoroughly delight in the discovery of a well-turned phrase.
5. Hope to run into someone who knew you when you drank, just to see the look on their face in reaction to how dramatically you’ve changed.
6. Crave fresh air, blue skies, and green trees.
7. Recognize that being overweight is not healthy, but that self-loathing and guilt are even worse.
8. Keep 99% of your passion to yourself—let just a tiny bit of it leak out.
9. Understand the significance of being helpful to others.
10. Love Niccole.
11. Enjoy the aroma of an expensive cigar.
12. Know that, even though your feelings have just been smashed all to hell, that doesn’t mean anyone needs to know about it.
13. Think about sex often.
14. Almost always be completely oblivious to the mole on the tip of your nose.
15. Fantasize often about soft, gentle kisses.
16. Know both Microsoft Word and Adobe FrameMaker like the back of your hand.
17. Require a close connection with God in order to survive.
18. Fancy yourself an avid reader, even though you rarely set aside time to read.
19. Hope that certain people love being with you as much as you love being with them.
20. Miss your mother deeply.
21. Prefer that your eyes weren’t set so closely together.
22. Hate Christmas, but always try to make each one tolerable.
23. Conclude that most men are idiots.
24. Regret selling your piano, and avoid expectations about ever owning another one.
25. Know for certain that you used to be a very sexy, attractive woman, and on a good day, you still can be.
26. Count it a great day if you found the opportunity to laugh your ass off.
27. Know how wonderful it is to be a grandmother.
28. Concede that you are not a “hat person.”
29. Celebrate sobriety every day.
30. Type over 100 wpm.
31. Doodle when you’re on the phone.
32. Be vaguely aware of your inane giggling.
33. Whisper a quick “Thank you!” to God every time you see a field filled with wildflowers.
34. Hate wearing shoes, and go barefoot as often as possible.
35. Love dogs, birds, horses, cats… well, heck, just go ahead and love all animals.
36. Hunger for frequent solitude.
37. Often be completely taken by surprise when someone compliments you on what an excellent job you did.
38. Wonder why certain people like you, and why certain people don’t.
39. Be a Woody Allen fan.
40. Say the “f” word way too much.
41. Believe in lust at first sight.
42. Insist on sitting in an aisle seat.
43. Accept the fact that you will never marry again.
44. Believe that many physical ailments are psychosomatically induced.
45. Despise politics, and politicians even more.
46. Be completely self-supporting and financially independent.
47. Continually strive to be more honest.
48. Be attracted to sparkling things, like diamonds.
49. Love fresh fruit.
50. Now and then, imagine what might be said at your own eulogy; then, start being nicer to people.

Karen