Commitment

I’ve come to a conclusion about marriage.

It’s not about romance.

It’s not about diamonds or flowers or candlelight dinners or romantic get-aways. It’s not about birthday, anniversary, or Christmas gifts.

It’s not about mushy words, whether they’re whispered in the heat of passion or scribbled on a greeting card.

It’s not about family photos or scrapbooks.

It’s not even about the sex.

It’s about commitment.

It’s about two people making the choice to stick together. Consciously deciding to be honorable and dependable—at least enough to stay. It’s about two people getting involved and staying involved.

All that other lovey-dovey stuff is icing.

My last husband summarily failed in the commitment department. Throughout the 8 years we were together, he said a lot of things to me. He made promises. He went through the motions. He pretended to be honorable and dependable.

But when all was said and done, he bailed.

I’ve been in and out of relationships my whole life.

It’s strange that I just now figured out this commitment thing. I’m pretty sure I’ll never marry again, but the principles still hold true for other forms of friendships or relationships. All the diamonds and candlelight in the world won’t matter much unless both people are committed to the relationship.

Karen